What is D-MER and how does it affect breastfeeding? Here is all you need to know.
Maybe you’ve felt it before- You’re breastfeeding your newborn, and after a few minutes, your milk lets down. But instead of feeling relaxed as oxytocin takes over, you’re hit with something completely different: intense feelings of anger or sadness. These feelings can be so strong it can make you cry. It can even make you want to stop breastfeeding for good.
What is it?
What you’ve just experienced is known as D-MER, or Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. And you’re not alone- in one study, over 14% of women reported symptoms of D-MER when breastfeeding.
D-MER is a phenomenon which revolves around the milk ejection reflex (or the term you may be more familiar with: milk letdown).
While scientists still aren’t sure what causes it, we do know that it’s a physiological response rather than a psychological one. So no, it isn’t just in your head. This is a true feeling that your body is creating.
What are the symptoms?
Symptoms of D-MER are easy to identify. Typically, the most common symptom is intense negative feelings right before each milk letdown, with the negative feelings lasting anywhere from 30-90 seconds.
The intensity of these feelings can range from mild, such as an aching hollow feeling in your stomach or slight irritation, to severe: anger and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
Is there any idea what causes it?
D-MER first began gaining recognition around 2011, so there haven’t been many studies done on this interesting phenomenon. However, some scientists theorize that it may have to do with dopamine blocking. Others believe it could have to do with specific hormonal fluctuations within the woman breastfeeding. And so far, there is no way to predict which women will have D-MER and which won’t.
What we do know is that if a woman has it once, she will experience it again with any future breastfeeding babies.
D-MER is also not the same thing as postpartum depression. You could have D-MER at the same time as having postpartum depression, but they are not related conditions and cannot be treated the same.
Are there any treatments for D-MER?
AS scientists have only just begun to research, no treatment for D-MER has been found. This doesn’t mean there won’t be treatments in the future! But we simply don’t know enough about the condition right now.
Is there any way to cope?
Since there’s reason to believe that D-MER is caused by a sudden drop in dopamine, it’s reasonable to try to counteract it with things that specifically boost your dopamine.
For example, you could try listening to your favorite song, practicing diaphragmatic breathing, or even finding a sunny place to sit while breastfeeding.
Another option is to include more dopamine-boosting foods into your diet, like bananas, eggs, or almonds. (You could even try snacking on some while nursing your newborn!)
Some women have also reported that limiting the amount of caffeine they consume helped with the symptoms of D-MER.
Do I have to keep breastfeeding if I’m experiencing D-MER?
The short answer is no, you do not have to keep breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is natural, and breastmilk is perfectly designed for newborns’ health, but breastfeeding by itself is always a personal decision based on ability and your own unique situation.
Since D-MER does not actually affect milk production or milk flow, it doesn’t have any physical effect on breastfeeding. But the emotional impact can be enough for you to decide that you would like to feed your newborn a different way.
What else should I know about D-MER?
Unfortunately, there isn’t much else to know about it at this time. As scientists continue to study D-MER and learn more about it, we can trust that we’ll get a better understanding of this condition- and potentially even treatments down the line.
In the meantime, you can find other parents and online support groups to help you in your journey. Sometimes it’s enough to talk to those who are going through the same experience you are.
(d-mer.org has a Facebook support group that is free to join!)
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